365 dAys of aRt. DAY THIRTY-FOUR.

my heart's been trapped in silence
in shade
and it's waking
i can feel this emptiness inside my chest
it's tight
and the tears i've never cried
begin to surface in the night
why did you choose to leave the love of your life

It seems that things hit hardest at night, doesn't it? When everyone else has gone to sleep -- and we're left alone with our thoughts to keep us company. The other night, for example, I put my schoolwork aside to watch the movie Hurt Locker (a guilty pleasure before the start of a long week). I found myself awake while everyone else was asleep -- catching up on the responsibilities I put aside for the movie. It wasn't until right before bed, when everything was quiet and I was able to sink into my covers and away from school distractions, that I started thinking about the movie and how much it had affected me. Maybe it was the suspense, or, the connection I seemed to keep making to the people in my life still serving in Iraq. Or, maybe it was the disturbing fact that what was portrayed as normal life -- with bombs and violence and death -- was indeed routine for the Iraqi people. At any rate, the affect surfaced just as I was to go to bed. It's an overload of emotions; My mind runs ramped with thoughts, prohibiting my sleep. Have you ever experienced a night as such -- when memories flood you or suppressed emotions surface? Tell me I'm not alone.