365 dAys of aRt. DAY THIRTY-THREE.

today while you weren't looking
i poured my heart to you
i thought i could become
a part of everything you do
and when you turned away from me
a moment passed me by
blindly i denied it
there's no room for me to cry
struggling i lived and loved the best of all our years
but now you love another
so much for silent fears

I remember trying to hold on and to make the relationship my own (we can not own a relationship, it is a shared commitment.). I remember the feeling so well when it didn’t work: the pain, frustration and fear. I was seeing everything in my own perspective without understanding it through his; and I was blind. It was love and yes it was wonderful. I will never forget the experience we shared. But I wanted it to last so bad that I pushed for it to work. I pushed and fate pushed back: it just wasn’t supposed to be. Sometimes we engage in something without even paying attention to how it truly plays out in our lives. It may be right in the moment but not sustainable in the end. If I would have stepped back and gained a different view I could have acknowledged that my love just wasn’t what he needed: that our happiness was only my own. It was time to move on. I am no less of a person in his absence. I am actually stronger for loving and growing in my own way. I will never consider it wasted time or time I need to regret. Be bold and release the things that aren’t yours to keep.